Helping Others Achieve their Vision

There exists in some people an innate desire to look after the welfare of their fellow human beings. This motivation can be traced back to either the challenges they’ve experienced during their formative years, or the simple fact that medicine and the human body is a subject and an entity that they wish to further study. I believe in the virtues of being a doctor. The delicate balancing act required to provide both effective healthcare and personalized service is a challenge that I look forward to dealing with. Whether this is something I will be good at remains to be seen, but I am certain that I will be interested enough to always give my best, regardless of my intellectual limitations.


I. Introduction

A. History of my motivation to study medicine

B. My family background and my experiences

C. My chosen specialization and how it will motivate me to challenge the norms and excel in my field

II. My past achievements as a student

A. I have immersed myself in various co- and extra-curricular activities and groups to prepare myself for the challenges ahead, namely staying focused and determined to finish what I started.

B. I have been recognized many times for my achievements in the past. This has been part of the driving force why I’m pursuing this.

C. I’ve had wonderful opportunities to gain hands-on experience in my chosen field. I volunteered for several missions and programs which gave me an extremely realistic image of what my chosen profession will be like when I finish my studies.

III. My choice of medical institution

A. History and academic focus – Your institution, I believe, will offer me the experience and credibility that I’ll need to stay determined to eventually finish my studies.

B. Location – The location of your facilities is perfect for my needs.

C. Quality of education – This school is known for its high quality optometry education.

Health care admission essay outline and excerpt

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I was diagnosed with malaria when I was a child and was brought to a local hospital. Medical facilities in my home country were not that good and I had to be but in a room with more patients than beds. I watched people struggle with their illnesses as the medical personnel struggled to treat each of the patient despite having limited facilities. Thankfully, I survived. Such an experience taught me so much despite my young age. This prompted me to pursue a career in health care. I chose _________ University because it caters to a diverse pool of students and offers top notch training facilities.

I. Surviving malaria opened my eyes to the world
A. I was very young when I was brought to a local hospital to be treated for malaria
B. Medical care can be very expensive. Free health care services are very rare and are often inadequate
C. There are many people who need medical care but are not able to receive any form of assistance

II. My father inspired my to pursue a career in the health care sector
A. My father worked two jobs in order for my family to come to the States to live with him
B. He declined an opportunity to study medicine himself just so his family can have a better life
C. He was diagnosed with cancer and passed away, leaving us in an unfamiliar country
D. His life story will always be an inspiration to me. He taught me never to give up

III. My educational and volunteer experience helped me realize my goals
A. I finished with a degree in Biology despite all the hardships in my life
B. During my college years, I did a lot of volunteer work at a hospital
C. I was able to converse with and relate to several patients during volunteer work
D. Not only is a medical career my father’s legacy, but it’s also my personal goal

Graduate nursing sample application essay

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The family, being the basic unit of the community, is the foundation of the nation. As a nation, we can be great again, if only we take care of our families. I have been involved in various researches regarding health issues and the family. I have a family of my own and nothing is more important to me than to make sure that they are healthy and safe. My past experiences have led me to want to pursue a research career focused on families and their health. In the near future, I would like to learn more about pediatric cancer. I would like to do research on preventing abortion in third world countries. Joining ________ University will take me one step closer to achieving my goals.

A. The family is the basic unit of the community
1. As the basic unit, the family is the foundation of the nation
2. We can be a great nation if we take care of our families
B. My work experience has led me to believe strongly in promoting the family’s welfare
1. I want to keep my family healthy and safe
2. My background in research tells me that I should focus my efforts on learning more about family health

II. Educational Background and Professional Experience
A. I have obtained a bachelor’s degree and a master’s degree, both in Midwifery, from two highly reputable schools in my home country
B. As a professional, I have worked with the National Research Center for Family Planning, the Iranian Academy of Medical Sciences, and the World Health Organization
C. My career in research has enabled me to attend several seminars and trainings around the world.
D. I am now a family woman and a Registered Nurse in Alabama

III. Future Goals and ________ University
A. As a Registered Nurse with an extensive background in research, I would like to continue researching about family health
B. As part of my goals, I want to pursue a Doctorate of Philosophy in Nursing in _________ University
C. This brings me one step closer to pursuing a research career in Maternal and Child health
D. By accepting me, the ____ University not only invests in me but invests in the future of the community as well

Graduate social work personal statement example

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Social work is not a job or a profession. It is a huge part of American history, taking root way back in 1898. Social work entails passion and a strong desire to help others. I have always enjoyed helping others out and started volunteer work in an institution helping the youth conquer substance abuse when I was a teenager. There are no words to describe the feeling I get knowing that my efforts have helped someone. In order to help others more, I decided to pursue additional studies in Social Work in ____ University where passion and enthusiasm to help others are held in high regard.

A. Social work is part of American history and began in 1898
B. The field of social work entails passion and enthusiasm and a strong desire to help others
C. Further education can improve my social work skills in order to better help others
D. I should pursue further studies in a school that values passion and enthusiasm

II.My passion for social work
A. I started social work when I was a teenager by volunteering in an institution focused on helping adolescents
B. However, I majored in business before I finally decided to pursue a degree in social work because I feel at home in this field
C. During my college years, I was able to work with a myriad of people who taught me a lot about social work
D. Despite obtaining a degree in Social Work from a reputable college, I still attend trainings and seminars

III.Continuous learning and ___ University
A. Continuous education is important in order to deliver optimal service in the world of social work
B. ___ University is the ideal venue to develop my social work skills
C. The social work graduate program in ___ University offers not only sound theoretical foundation but exciting and challenging practicum programs

Online bachelors degree personal statement example

When I first started my career in banking in 2004 as a retail sales associate, I wasn’t sure of where it would all lead.  To be honest, I merely saw the opportunity as a means to earn work experience, get better educated and trained, and make some income.  Now, about six years later, my career in banking has continued and it has brought me to greater heights of success, and a sense of realization about my dreams, my aspirations, and who I am as a person.  It is a career that I have grown to love and appreciate, one that I wish to continue excelling in not only to achieve better banking job opportunities, but also to continue my journey of self-fulfillment.  This is why I am applying for an online bachelor’s degree from __________.

I.  Introduction
A.  Explain how I first started my career in banking
B.  Starting out in banking, my goals were merely to gain experience, training, education, income
C.  Six years down the line, I have matured, my goals are more directed, and I continue in my career in banking
D.  I now love my career and wish to continue with it, which is why I am applying for this online course

II.  My career in banking
A.  When I first began in banking in 2004, I worked as a retail sales associate for Charter One Bank in Chicago, my home town.
B.  My experience getting used to the responsibilities of my job
C.  Developing a sense of belonging in banking, and excelling to better positions
D.  Getting promoted to teller manager and realizing how wonderful it felt to achieve this position
E.  Promotion to assistant branch manager and taking on even bigger responsibilities gave me a feeling of self-fulfilment that I had achieved something great in my career.
F.  This inspired and drove me to work harder and I was able to achieve the position of Branch Manager in Feb 2009

III.  A change of pace
A.  I wanted to explore my options and opportunities in banking so I applied at Bank of America and was accepted as Assistant Branch Manager
B.  Although it was a step down from my previous position, I felt that I had a lot to learn from Bank of America
C.  This has motivated me to pursue higher levels of education, that I may get a better position where I can really make a difference, maximizing resources for departmental growth
D.  Realizing that I would need a flexible education program, I decided to go for an online course, so I could still attend to my duties as Assistant Branch Manager with Bank of America while earning my degree.

IV.  Applying at ____ for an online bachelor’s degree
A.  The online course at _______ fits in perfectly with my goals, giving me a flexible schedule to pursue my studies while working
B.  The program at ______ is amazing and I think it will give me the education, training, and experience that I need to succeed in my career in banking.
C.  I think now is the perfect time for me to pursue my online degree, because I am in the position where I know my career path, I know my current job position, and I know that I can do what it takes to succeed in both schooling and in the workplace.

Using an Admission Essay Sample to Perfect Your Essay

After your high school education, you are probably well versed in writing term papers, persuasive essays, and all sorts of essay writing assignments, but none have had as big an impact on your life as your admission essay. Your admission essay can spell the difference between getting admitted or rejected to the college of your dreams. If you’re having a hard time getting your admission essay right, then you may want to try using an admission essay sample that can greatly benefit you when writing your application essay. Here’s what the BharatBhasha education blog has to say about using admission essay samples to help you complete your essay, be it for graduate school admission or college application:

If you have been reading through the sample graduate school essays that you were able to find on the Internet, you will notice that those who succeeded in getting into the program and university of their choice always show their determination to fulfill their goals and passion for their field.

Aside from good grades, dedication is another trait that’s highly valued by academic institutions. They look for students that make great additions to the school because of their contribution to diversity, their leadership potential, and to establishing the long-held traditions of the school. They want someone who can succeed in the chosen program.

How do the writers present their philosophy and motivation for pursuing a [graduate] degree? A good essay should tell how a socially relevant event influenced a writer’s decision to earn his or her master’s or PhD….Your claim has to be supported by a review of your past experiences.

As you can probably notice in good essay samples, successful applicants don’t merely enumerate their accomplishments and reasons for choosing the university or program. They use personal experiences, anecdotes, and their own ideas to show their dedication. They cite challenging moments in their life and discuss how they were able to bounce back from such an ordeal. This gives depth to their admission essay, and shows what kind of a person they truly are.

Choosing admission essay samples to aid you

Perhaps the most important step to getting help from an admission essay sample is to choose the right essay to help you out. It would be no use to pick out essay samples that have wrong grammar, bad topics, or those that simply aren’t well-written. But no matter how well-crafted they are, you are not supposed to use these samples and declare them as your own. Resist the urge to plagiarize and only use them as a guide.

A college admissions blog has this to say on the use of essay samples:

College admission essay samples should serve as admission guide for writing. Writing is not a solitary process in this circumstance. Writing help is available in different forms and samples are just one of the many forms. While help from sample papers can do the job, the benefits of you personally putting pen to paper cannot be over emphasized. Some sample papers will offer just the basics of writing an introduction, the body and the conclusion. The extent to which you will get help from these papers will very depending on your level of education and the quality of the paper. However, when you look at these papers, look beyond the ideas to the approaches, placement of opinions and manner of conclusion.

Choose essays that are technically sound, read well, are structured appropriately, have interesting topics, and show the admissions committee that you are worthy of admission into their school. Beyond this, however, it is also essential that you choose admission essay samples that are similar to what you plan on writing. For example, choose admission essays that talk about life experiences similar to your own, that way you can analyze how these topics and themes were developed so you can use the same strategies in your essay.

A few reminders and tips

Now that you have a good idea of how these samples can help, the next step is to actually find samples to help you out. Remember that different schools have varying criteria for what makes a good essay. It would be better if you choose sample essays written for the particular college or university that you are applying to.

Only make use of essays that are openly available to you and the public. Don’t make use of essays that may have come from illegal or unfair means, or else you may be an accomplice to crimes on intellectual rights. In the end, it all comes down to writing your own, original, exceptional admission essay. Although it may not be an easy feat, once you have written your essay and you get into college, you can be proud of your accomplishment and you can be thankful for the samples that helped you along the way.

Write College Admission Essays with Shining Personality

When writing college admission essays, the most important thing is for you to let your personality shine through. As the blogCollege Preparation Suite 101 mentions in the following excerpt, your admission essay is more than just an essay, but it is your way of introducing yourself and setting yourself apart from other applicants:

Colleges use statements of purpose or admission essays tounderstand the applicant. Writing a powerful admission essay is essential to stand out among the competition.

As more and more students apply for admission to multiple colleges using the Internet and common applications, colleges are inundated with more applications than ever before. Some colleges see as many as twenty-thousand applicants for as few as two-thousand seats. Although grades and SAT scores help colleges to sort students in a general manner, the college admissions essay, sometimes called apersonal statement, is critical in admissions decisions.

As mentioned, the admission essay is often referred to as a personal statement because your goal is to give the reader an idea of what your personality, ideals, goals, and character traits are.

How your topic can convey your personality

Your choice of topic is extremely important if you want to convey certain personality or character traits through your essay. As mentioned in the following passage, your topic can be guided by the questions and guidelines of the school that you are applying to:

Admission essay topics are specifically designed to reveal aspects of the applicant’s character or experience to differentiate her from the masses. The topics are often very general in nature, but College Board reveals some trends that recur in application essay topics, including “you” questions and “creative” questions. “You” questions tend to focus on the applicant and their personal experience in a standard essay format, while “creative” questions invite the applicant to tell a specific story that reflects their experience using a narrative essay.Knowing the general idea of the essay question is important in developing a strategy to answer the question.

Sharing personal experiences

Here are some advice from a college blog on sharing your personal experiences:

It is very important to be really focused on the topic of the essay and not include all the incidents of your life in the essay. It will unnecessarily lengthen the essay and confuse the reader. So, it is very important to write your essay in a way that it will leave a long lasting impression on the reader.

The important thing here is that you stay on track with the essay topic and avoid getting carried away. Your goal is to share your personal experiences, but not to the extent that you share unnecessary or unrelated experiences that will just work against the quality of your essay. Instead of enumerating experiences or simply telling about the things you have experienced, show them through narratives, illustrations, and descriptions.

Just remember this tip:

It is very important to be really focused on the topic of the essay and not include all the incidents of your life in the essay. It will unnecessarily lengthen the essay and confuse the reader. So, it is very important to write your essay in a way that it will leave a long lasting impression on the reader.

Remember, the purpose of your college admission essay is to share why you make a good addition to the university or academic institution because of who you are, what you have done, and what your future plans are. You want to show the admissions committee that you, with your unique personality and individual flair, will enrich the college and help make it a better place.

Writing an Impressive College Essay

When writing your admission essay for college, perhaps the most important thing to keep in mind is your goal. Ultimately, the goal of your college essay is to impress the admissions committee and get them to accept your application to their college or university. Here’s what an admissions dean has to say about the importance of your college essay when trying to impress the admissions committee. Here’s an excerpt from the The Choice blog of the New York Times:

Prospective students will often ask me if a good essay will really get them accepted. The truth is that while no essay will make an unqualified student acceptable, a good essay can help a qualified applicant stand out from the competition. A good essay just might be what turns a “maybe” into a “yes.”

As you can see, there are a lot of college applicants who have good grades and credentials, but these are not enough to guarantee their admission. Your admission essay will still hold weight in your application package. This is simply because admissions officers aren’t necessarily looking for people with amazing grades, but they are looking for those who can enrich the school environment and improve the educational atmosphere.

More admission essay tips

Perhaps the best way to impress the admissions committee is to get to know the school that you are applying to. Try to get an idea of the school’s educational beliefs and their educational model. Aside from simply visiting the website of the college, you may want to actually visit the college and take a tour of the campus so that you can get an idea of what it is like there. This venture may even help you find more reasons for wanting to attend the school. This will give you an idea on how to approach writing your essay, considering the fact that the admissions committee probably shares these same beliefs and frame of mind. Here are additional pieces of advice:

# Write about yourself. A great history paper on the Civil War might be very well written, but it doesn’t tell me anything about the writer. Regardless of the topic, make sure you shine through your essay.
# Use your own voice. I can tell the difference between the voice of a 40-year-old and a high school senior.
# Focus on one aspect of yourself. If you try to cover too many topics in your essay, you’ll end up with a resume of activities and attributes that doesn’t tell me as much about you as an in-depth look at one project or passion.

This simply means that your entrance essay should be all about you, your personality, and why you have what it takes to succeed in the school you’re applying to. In the end, if you want to impress the admissions committee, the best thing you can do is be yourself and let your unique personality shine through in your essay.


Make sure that the topic you’ll use for the essay will appeal to your readers. Another college blog has this to say about making a good essay:

What you think is a good essay really may not be a good essay at all. Remember that college application essay readers look at thousand of essays….Also, application essays are not the same kind of essay that your English teacher assigns and grades. You may get all A’s on your essay in English class and still miss what the college application essay demands.

This means that even if you poured in your best effort into writing your application essay, it shouldn’t stop there. Take time to edit your essay carefully. Look not only for technical errors but also for issues on writing style, clarity, and coherence. Have another person critique your essay for content and significance to your application to college.

Where to Go for Admission Essay Help

The task of writing an admission essay can be quite daunting. Not only do you have to come up with an exceptional essay, but you also have to deal with the pressure of knowing that your college dreams hinge upon the success of your admission essay. If you are having a difficult time with your essay, then the best thing that you can do is to seek out help from those around you. Here’s what the Pier 55 blog has to say about getting help from friends and relatives:

Have friends or family members read the essay through. Be open to criticism. Ask them to honestly tell you which parts should be excised and which need further elaboration.

This is no time to be hyper-sensitive to what your friends and relatives have to say. Try to take their criticisms positively, because, ultimately, your friends and family only want the best for you and that means helping you get the best chances of entering into and succeeding in college. Here’s another tip from Pier 55:

…have someone edit/proofread your essay. If you don’t know a professional editor, you can always ask a teacher to help you out they would only be too glad to help you succeed.

Get help from the professionals, such as editors and teachers. If you decide to get help from a teacher, you may want to approach those who excel in English, such as your English or literature teacher. This will give you a great edge, because many teachers have gone through the admission essay writing process themselves, and they know what colleges and universities are looking for.

Getting help online

Aside from approaching friends, family, editors, and teachers, the next best place to seek admission essay help is from the Internet. There are literally thousands of websites on essay writing, admission essay writing, and college application processes and these sites offer loads of help. For example, Pier 55 provides a great guide on writing college admission essays. Here are some excerpts:

Step one: Brainstorm. To stimulate your creative juices, try elaborating on these thoughts and write all your ideas down on a sheet of paper (or type away on your computer, if you feel more comfortable with it). […]
Step two: Choose a topic. Some universities give a prod, such as, “Name a person, living or dead, who has been the greatest influence on your life, and explain why.” Others give you a free hand, such as Yale University’s “In the past, candidates have used this space in a great variety of ways. There is no ‘correct’ way to respond to this essay request” and when you come across an instruction like this, then it’s time to buckle up and do some serious planning on which topic to home in on. […] Step three: Write the essay. You can choose to first write down all your thoughts in a free-flowing style, such as when you’re writing on your journal, and edit for cohesiveness later. You can use an anecdote in the opening paragraph to catch the reader’s attention. The first few sentences should be interesting enough, butrefrain from cliches and quotations.

Admission essay tips

It’s always important to start with the basics by getting all the help you can from the actual school that you are applying to. Aside from knowing the instructions and requirements, and finding samples, you should also read as much as you can about the school that you are applying to. Get to know the school, what they look for in students, what programs they specialize in, as well as what their educational beliefs and what their atmosphere is like. This will aid greatly in choosing topics, as well as tailoring your essay to the school that you are applying to.

Here’s another piece of advice when writing your application essay for college:

Admission Officers are on the prowl to find unique personalities that will blend with the school’s standards and environment. They are after the authentic person behind the numbers and statistics i.e. grades. Another thing that the students have to remember in writing College Application Essay is to be original and individual. This means that their writing should reflect the unique individual creature that they truly are.

Just remember, there are tons of help out there, so the last thing you should do is try to take on this daunting task alone. If you are in need of help, go out there and get it, otherwise, you may just end up making some crucial mistakes that may result in the college of your dreams rejecting your application.

Creativity produces a Winning College Admissions Essay

Writing a creative admission essay is one of the ways to ensure that your essay is unique, powerful, and interesting enough to get your application accepted. Here’s what the Spark Notes blog has to say about creativity in essays:

Essays are usually a tool used to gauge something about you, for example, your skill at writing, your ideals and personality, or your ability to repeat some things about Charlemagne before forgetting them forever.

You might assume that if you’re writing about your ideals and personality, there are no right or wrong answers, and that’s probably true. But there are awesome and far-less-awesome answers.Sometimes, despite seeming absolutely insane, an unexpected approach winds up surprising and delighting the people who read these things.

In the first part of this excerpt, you can find some helpful information about the objectives of an essay. When writing your college admission essay, it’s important to keep your eye on your goal, which is to introduce yourself to the admissions committee and let them know why you make a good fit for their school. In the second part of the excerpt, however, Spark Notes gives advice that doesn’t necessarily work when it comes to college application essays. Being creative isn’t about writing something with an unexpected approach, but it’s more about putting thought into how you translate your personality into an excellent essay.

Get your creative juices flowing

If you need some help getting your creative juices flowing, then you should heed this advice from another blog, which states:

Whether you are writing an essay, speech, or developing personal goals, the following three-step process can be applied:

1. Idea Collection: Use various brainstorming techniques to gather your thoughts on a specific topic.
2. Idea Mapping: Create Mind Maps that organize your thoughts structurally.
3. Conversion to Linear Form: When writing or speaking, ideas must be presented one word after another. The challenge is to present the material in a way that the associations and structure of the material are not lost.

Basically, the blog breaks down the creative writing process into three steps, but we all know that it can be a lot harder than 1, 2, 3, to write an exceptional paper. Still, this gives a great foundation from which to work on. When preparing to write your essay, brainstorm on the various topics that you want to talk about. Write down practically any relevant issue that comes to mind. Then try to organize your thoughts into something with a sequence and a structure. This second stage is basically like making an outline. Finally, you have to turn your ideas and your outline into a full-fledged essay.

Being creative in your essay

The best way to show your creativity is to let your personality and your character spill onto the pages of your admission essay. Just be yourself, because everyone has their own creative streak that makes them unique. Here are some good pieces of advice:

The first thing an applicant has to remember is that Admission officers want the essay to be personal and imaginative. The next thing they have to take note of is how to write something personal without making it appear as a lifeless paper. The trick for this is to make the tone of the essay a conversational one. Since one is talking about his life, narrate it in a light humorous tone as though one is talking to another person like a friend. In this way, one will definitely get the focus and the hearts of the admission officers. People should freely express themselves.

In the end, the best topics are those that you can tell with your own personal flair. A topic that you can use as a vessel to get across your ultimate message: that you are a person who is ready, willing, and able to be a student in the school you are applying to.