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Excerpt

I am from a family of farmers in Guyana, South Africa. I grew up tilling the land and tending to animals. Due to my father’s desire to give us a better life, he started a small grocery shop. The whole family pitched in the operations of our small store. Before long, I found myself handling the inventory, ordering system and assisted in the bookkeeping. However, our grocery store was robbed. Due to the losses we encountered, we did not reopen the store. We went back to farming. However, this did not stop me from pursuing and achieving my goals.

Outline

I. A Life of Hardship
A. I am from a family of farmers from Africa.
B. We opened a grocery store to add to our income. However, the store was robbed and we lost everything.
C. Despite losing our source of income, we continued on, reverting back to farming.
D. This taught me to be strong so that I can still pursue my dreams. I should not give up easily.

II. Perseverance
A. After graduating from school at the age of 16, I was invited to teach in the local school.
B. I handled subjects like Mathematics and Accounting.
C. When our family migrated to the United States, I wasted no time in attending additional courses that will help me earn more for my family.
D. I obtained a certification for Medical Billing.

III. Continuing Education
A. Despite the additional training in Medical Billing, I find my knowledge in business to be lacking.
B. I was able to obtain a bachelor’s degree in Finance/Investments with a minor in Political Science.
C. However, I feel the need to pursue additional education in the field of business.
D. ____ College will be able to answer my needs for continued education in the field that I chose.

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Admission essay excerpt:

Even as a little boy, I’ve always been very curious with everything that’s going on around me.  I seek new ways to learn and gain experience in everything I do, be it in horseback riding, watching movies, or reading the newspapers.  This same drive pushes me to achieve more.  Being a skilled communicator myself and having mastered two languages, Arabic and English, I found my niche in the academic world as a lecturer for some of the well-known universities and institutes in Bahrain, where I teach science- and business-related subjects.  Teaching has been my passion as it feeds my desire to learn more, apply new ideas, lead people, and help young students realize their true potentials, the way I did back in college.  Seeing the vast world of opportunities before me, I want to take a step further to enhance my skills and explore more career options.  This realization led to my aspiration to apply for the ___ graduate program of ________ University.

Sample outline:

I.  Introduction

A.  Personal traits
i.  seeking new ways to learn and gain experience in everything
ii.  driven to achieve more
iii.  skilled communicator (fluent in Arabic and English)
iv.  teaching is my passion

B.  Why I’m interested in applying for the ___program at ___ University

i.  to explore more opportunities
ii.  to further enhance my skills in research, etc.
iii.  to consider more career options with the help of the program
iv.  to be able to apply new ideas and become a better leader

C.  Career objective

i.  to land a challenging position with a reputable organization that will enable me to expand my knowledge and experience in order to enhance my scope

II.  Academic experience

A.  B.S. (Chemistry science) –  University Of Bahrain, 1996
B.  PMP (Professional Management Project) – Novotech, 2010
C.  MBA ( Master of Business and Administration ) AMA International University Bahrain, 2006
D.  QMS Audit (ISO 9001:2008),2010
E.  PCT professional certified trainer, Canada, 2012

III.  Work experience

A.  2010 – lecturer (AAT, Delmon University)
i.  teaches all subjects related to science and business
B.  2006 – lecturer –BTI (Bahrain Training Institute)
i.  teaches all subjects related to science and business
C.  2006 – lecturer – Delmon University – (part time)
i.  teaches all subjects related to science and business
D.  1999 – administration supervisor – Safra School
E.  1996 – 1999 Assistant Manager (R&D), Dep. – Awal Plastic Company

IV.  Personal qualities

A.  Skills and personal traits

i.  excellent leadership skills and people management
ii.  has a good sense of urgency
iii.  strong interpersonal relations skills
iv.  excellent problem solving skills
v.  has team work spirit
vi.  skilled communicator and writer
vii.  driven to learn (apply new ideas)
viii.  fluent in English and Arabic, written and spoken
ix.  proficient in Microsoft Office applications

B.  Interests

i.  reading newspapers
ii.  football
iii.  horseback riding
iv.  swimming
v.  watching movies

V.  Why I’ve chosen the ___ University

i.  It offers a _____ program that best matches my goals, objectives, and personal requirements.
ii.  It ensures quality education and world-class training that will open new doors for me.

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Admission essay excerpt:

Hippocrates once said that “Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity.”  Throughout my life, my studies, and my career, I have found that this saying couldn’t be any more true.  While, indeed, “time heals all wounds,” the  process itself allows us to find hope, comfort, and a facet of healing that is not just physical but perhaps even emotional and spiritual.  Opportunities come in all shapes and forms, and all forms of opportunity can aid in healing, whether that opportunity be in the chance of finding a caring doctor whom you trust, the luck of having a loving family to comfort you, or the good fortune of still having your life despite injury.

Outline:

I.  Introduction
A.  Hippocrates: “Healing is a matter of time, but it is also sometimes a matter of opportunity.”
B.  One of my favorite sayings that has been proven true throughout my life, career, education.
C.  Explaining the role of opportunity in healing: it gives hope, comfort, emotional and spiritual healing
D.  Examples of opportunity: caring doctor, loving family, life

II.  Being a source of opportunity for others
A.  Oftentimes, when injured, we can fall into a state of despair, depression, or pervading pessimism.
B.  This is when we tend to forget about all of the opportunities around us.
C.  One of my goals in life is to turn myself into someone who can be a source of opportunity to others in need.
D.  This is why I have spent much of my career and post-secondary education in Physical Therapy.
E.  It is a field that gives me the opportunity to be a source of opportunity for those who may need it most.
F.  Physical therapy emphasizes educating and empowering people to take back control over their health and their lives.
G.  My experience in the field of Physical Therapy
i.   Desire to help others
ii.  Experience in community services

III.  Taking up Physical Therapy at _________ University
A.  It is only by making full use of one’s opportunities that he can turn any potential into actuality
B.  I believe that _________ University offers the biggest opportunity and the best environment and educational system to help me attain my goals.

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Australian businessman Chris Corrigan once said that “I’m a firm believer that to really understand a business takes years, not months. As an investment analyst you think you understand a business from the outside, but the reality is that, once you are inside, you can go on learning for five or ten years.” Just like Corrigan, I also believe that to fully understand the investments business, you really have to set aside time and effort in learning new things. As a matter of fact, learning is an ongoing process especially if you want to excel in your field. This is why I wish to pursue a Master in Finance at the _________. I am particularly interested in the field of private equity as a form of investment. My experiences in various companies and fields have prepared me to take this big step and fulfill my goal of becoming an investment expert that can help a lot of businesses and individuals in making the right decision in terms of investing.

Outline

I. Introduction
A. Quote from Chris Corrigan – The quote from Chris Corrigan explains my determination to pursue higher education. According to him, to fully learn the investments business, it will take you years of learning.
B. Importance of the learning process – Because the learning process doesn’t really end once you graduate from college, you must do all that you can to expose yourself to other environments that will challenge your way of thinking and inspire you to be innovative. This is why I’m pursuing a graduate degree from the __________.
C. The course or field I wish to pursue – The course or field I am interested in is private equity. I think that private equity offers a lot of investment opportunities to companies who wish to diversify their funds.

II. My work experience
A. Past companies I’ve worked for and positions I’ve held – Companies that I’ve worked for included the European Business Innovation Center of Bourgogne where I worked as a manager for venture capital advisory and the Maison de L’Exportateur (Center of Promotion for Exportations) where I worked as a Tunisia-based research analyst. I was also part of the 2010 Scientipole Initiative as the Head of Mission.
B. What I’ve learned from these work experiences – Through these work experiences, I’ve learned the importance of financial advisory and how a sound strategic and financial analysis of a business plan can contribute to its overall success. Supervising several finance projects has also helped me gain a wider view of the investments field.
C. Relevant skills I’ve developed through these experiences – Because I was exposed to different clients from all over the world, I am able to further develop my quadrilingual skills. I was also able to enhance my IT skills.

III. How the __________ can help me reach my goal
A. What the ________ has to offer – The _________ offers an excellent master’s in finance program which can help me achieve my goals of becoming a private equity investment expert.

Essay (first paragraph):

I view myself as someone who has an excellent educational background and relevant work experiences. But more than these attributes, I believe I also have the right leadership skills, honed by years of experience as a district sales supervisor. I believe I am adept at communication, planning, and organizing. More than having the desire and the commitment to lead, however, I am also a good follower and valuable team player. And with my undergraduate training on Urban and Regional Planning and my research on Regional Development Strategy and Policy in Kuningan Regency, I understand the relevance and value of a graduate program on Energy and Environment for my career objectives.

outline:

I. Statement of career objectives

I chose the statement of career objectives as an introduction to my essay because I want to show the admissions officers what my motivations are for taking up a graduate program on Energy and Environment. These objectives also show the following:

1. My viewpoint on the relevance of energy conservation for the environment
2. My capacities in organizing, planning, and research, based on my work experiences
3. My desire to be able to contribute to the environmental development of Indonesia

II. Indonesia and its environment

Here, I have included some information about Indonesia and its environmental setting, as well as stress on the importance of using renewable energy sources, which have remained naturally abundant in the country. Through regional and local planning, I believe it is possible to achieve sustainable development in the country through the use of energy sources, which do not alter the ecological balance in the environment. By taking up a graduate program on Energy and Environment, I believe I can make a valuable contribution to Indonesia, through regional planning offices that serve to organize development and environmental projects on a regional and local scope.

III. My qualifications as an applicant

In this part, I would like to emphasize my educational background and my work experience as important tools in my goal to get into the graduate program.

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