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Admission essay excerpt:

One of the guiding principles in my life is expressed in the saying, “To live a meaningful life, to be well-read and to seek new knowledge.”  I believe that being both well-read and knowledgeable are essential aspects toward living a meaningful life.  Today, I am beginning yet another chapter in my life’s book as I seek new levels of “meaning.”  It has always been my dream, interest, and consuming passion to have a maritime-related career.  Now, I have a clear vision of the path that I must take to achieve these dreams and my eyes are set on earning a postgraduate degree from _________ as I seek out new knowledge, so that I will be well-read and well-prepared for my ultimate aspiration of practicing maritime law.

Outline:

I.  Introduction
A.  “To live a meaningful life, to be well-read and to seek new knowledge”
B.  What this axiom means to me and why I believe in it
C.  How it relates to my current situation
D.  Explaining my dream of a maritime career
E.  Discussing how ____ University can help me attain my goals of practicing maritime law

II.  My journey toward a meaningful life
A.  Throughout the years, I have tried hard to live a meaningful life
B.  On high school and my A level education
i.   I did particularly well in history and literature.
ii.  I participated in debates.
iii. I decided to pursue a path where I could use my skills and knowledge well: law.
C.  My belief that law permeates every aspect of our lives, even in the most basic of human interactions
D.  How studying law has developed various skills, values, and character traits
E.  Putting my education into practice
i.   Explaining some of my work experience
ii.  Barrister and Solicitor of the Supreme Court of Nigeria for two years
iii. My dream to purse an LLM in Maritime Law

III.  Taking the next step toward achieving my dreams
A.  Explaining a little about the maritime industry in Nigeria
B.  I believe that an LLM in Maritime Law will give me the education, training, experience needed to succeed in my career goals and to do my part in designing ways of solving some of the problems and issues that plague Nigerian maritime law.

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Admission essay excerpt

Growing up in a big family, I would always raise my voice just to be heard, to the point of being obnoxious.  I was competing for the attention of my mom and dad then, and it’s quite a challenge if you have five other siblings.  Because of my behavior, my parents thought that I have the makings of a good lawyer.  I was groomed to become one until I discovered that my real passion is not in the court room but on the field of athletics.  Growing up as a fat kid, I’ve been exposed to the difficulty of dealing with weight problems and health issues.  As I learned the value of fitness, I transformed myself into an athlete through weight training.  It was just a hobby for me at first, but as I was given a chance to help others, I knew so clearly where I should be.  At this point in time, I’m no longer standing in the cross road, because now I know too well that I want to be an elite trainer with the help of _______ program from ________.

Sample outline:

I.  Introduction

A.  Being groomed as a lawyer
B.  Realizing that becoming a lawyer does not seem proper
C.  Discovering passion for athletics
i.  transforming from a fat kid to a real athlete through weight training
ii.  hobby at first but became a passion
iii.  training  players and helping others
D.  Wanting to become an elite trainer
i.  knowing too well what I want
ii.  applying for ____program to realize my goals

II.  How I started training others

A.  Being an athlete
i.  college football career cut short because of injury but still persevered
ii.  was able to make 3 records in weight training (squat, power cleans, shuttle run), which are injury prone
B.  Training other players
i.  helping others reach new levels of fitness a source of hapiness and satisfaction
ii.  assisting the high school football team as defensive coach
C.  Coaching skills
i.  realizing how it makes more sense to be a coach than a lawyer
ii.  knack for training others
D.  Working as a trainer
i.   Being hired as a trainer at ______
ii.  working with newly hired trainers as a manager

III.  Realizing my dream and taking the opportunity

A.  Reasons for applying for _______ program
i.  to get certification as an elite trainer
ii.  to standardize personal training
iii.  to train elite athletes
iv.  to teach trainers how to be better

B.  What I value most that will figure in my success in the program
i.  perfection
ii.  determination
iii.  wanting to help others reach their full potential
iv.  strong work ethic

This custom essay outline and excerpt is based on information sent in by a reader of our blog network.  If you’d like your own free custom essay outline and excerpt, fill out the form to the right.

Outline:

I.  Introduction
A.  Explaining my stance when I first entered college and took up Psychology
B.  Describing my desire to help people on a deep level of conscientiousness and meaning (talking, listening, helping)
C.  Mentioning the incident with mom (will be fleshed out later in essay)
D.  Tough times helped to hone in on my passion, my drive, and my goals in life.
E.  Applying to law school

II.  Growing up and intro to high school
A.  My mother and I have always had a close relationship.
B.  Being raised in a single-parent household with 4 siblings
C.  Coming from a humble household: recounting Washington DC story, where I couldn’t go because we didn’t have money
D.  Playing a role in earning money, helping the household, and helping my mother deal with the burdens of being single mother: working two jobs at 13
E.  Explaining high school background, keeping a full-time job, taking honors classes, taking extra curricular activities, graduating with a 3.1 GPA

III.  College and the incident
A.  At the age of 17 and studying to earn my Psychology degree, my mother was suddenly fired from her job.
B.  I later found out that she was terminated under wrongful circumstances.
C.  In order to evade unemployment fees, the company lied to the government about the termination of my mother.
D.  Because my mother refused to take action against the injustice, I took the matter into my own hands, researching the case myself and finding a pro bono lawyer to represent my mother.
E.  We won the case.

IV.  My passion and my purpose for applying to law school
A.  The incident with my mother opened my eyes to injustice that many other minorities are experiencing, just as my mother had experienced.
B.  It was for this reason that I decided to take up law school.
C.  I want to play a significant role in bringing about justice, specifically by educating and defending minorities’ rights.
D.  This was the focus and clarity that I had achieved through the incident involving my mother, for it helped me realize the precise manner through which I can help those around me.

Excerpt:

When I entered into college, I made the decision to take up psychology.  This decision was based on my desire to work with people on a deep level, listening to them, talking to them, and helping them in any way I could.  When I turned 17, an unfortunate incident occurred involving my mother.  The incident resulted in tough times for the household, for my mother, and as well as for myself.  Despite the difficulties we faced at the time, it was through this incident that I learned my true calling as my dreams achieved a certain clarity and focus.  And, most definitely, it is the reason why I am now applying to law school.

This sample essay outline and excerpt is based on information sent in by a reader of our blog network.  If you’d like your own free custom personal statement essay outline and excerpt, please read the terms and conditions and fill out the form to the right.

Outline:

I.  Introduction

A.  “A hero is born among a hundred, a wise man is found among a thousand, but an accomplished one might not be found even among a hundred thousand men.” – Plato
B.  The importance of this quote to me
C.  Humility, man’s calling to fight idleness, human experience (what one has accomplished and experienced)
D.  Motivation to become an “accomplished one”, able to handle the challenges that life throws at my way and be able to help as many as I can as a lawyer.

II.  Discussing being “accomplished”
A.  I believe that being “accomplished” is not necessarily measured by one’s achievements.
B.  More than one’s achievements, being “accomplished” also has to do with one’s ability to overcome obstacles, seize opportunity, and act or react in an appropriate manner.

III.  Overcoming obstacles and my path toward becoming an “accomplished one”
A.  The most difficult thing for me to overcome was the death of my mother caused by cancer when I was 19, as she was my biggest inspiration.
B.  Another difficult time that I had to deal with was aiding people during the recent disasters in South America.
C.  Losing my best friend to an unfortunate incident and breaking my back in a fight
D.  Growing up with a non-verbal learning disability
E.  My experiences as Director of Fundraising for St. Jude Children Research Hospital
F.  A new obstacle to overcome in law school

IV.  My drive to become a lawyer
A.  As an idealist, I believe that being a lawyer is one of the most active roles toward helping society achieve a state of justice and goodness.
B.  I believe that this school has the best law school system to help me achieve my aspiration of becoming a lawyer.
C.  It is through my experiences growing up that I have learned to be resilient, that I have forged my own human experience, and reached my own achievements along my journey toward becoming an “accomplished” person, and it is through my position as a lawyer that I seek to achieve my highest levels of accomplishment as a human being.

Excerpt:

“A hero is born among a hundred, a wise man is found among a thousand, but an accomplished one might not be found even among a hundred thousand men.”
–  Plato

To me, this is one of the most poignant quotes in all of the recorded human experience.  To me, these words speak not only of man’s calling to fight idleness, but it also speaks words of humility and the significance of the human experience.  This quote of Plato’s has long been an inspiration to me.  It has taught me to appreciate my own human experience: all of the achievements I have striven for, all of the circumstances (good and bad) that have helped mold me into who I am.  Above all else, this quote from Plato is a great motivation for me to continue my human experience, not so much as to become a hero or a wise man, but perhaps as an accomplished one with riches of knowledge and experience to help others around me.