This excerpt and outline was prepared in accordance with our free essay assistance program.  Please fill out the form on this blog to get your own free materials.

Admission essay excerpt:

The first time I found myself sitting in the jungle as a child, I must admit that I was nervous and afraid of the uncertainties ahead of me.  While I never really grew up or even went in a jungle as a child, I did have to sit through the anxiety and torture of waiting for my doctor to arrive as I sat down waiting in her jungle-themed room.  While her room was beautifully decorated with colorful vines, tigers, lions, and other forms of jungle life, what was scaring me was that I didn’t know what to expect as a child on his first doctor’s appointment.  My doctor, however, was a kind-hearted woman who always did everything she could to make me feel as comfortable, relaxed, and happy as I could.  The jungle room, the apprehension as I waited, and the calm that my pediatrician blanketed me in are the memories that have inspired me to pursue an education and career in medicine.

Outline:

I.  The jungle room
A.  Sitting in the jungle room as a child
B.  Feelings of anxiety, fear, uncertainty, nervousness
C.  It was my first doctor’s appointment.
D.  I didn’t know what to expect.
E.  The doctor released me from my anxieties and calmed me.

II.  Realizing there was more to being a doctor
A.  My experience with the pediatrician made me realize that being a doctor was more than practicing medicine.
B.  The personal connection between patient and doctor
C.  Having the opportunity to be that doctor who helps children through their first doctor’s appointments
D.  Inspiration to be a good doctor

III.  My background
A.  Growing up in Trenton, New Jersey
B.  My surroundings were tough. Crime, violence, and gangs are prevalent.
C.  Fortunately, my parents worked hard to get us out of the hood and into the suburbs.
D.  Aside from doing what they could for me, my parents also supported their families in Haiti.
E.  It instilled in me a sense of responsibility, purpose, work ethic, and the importance of family.
F.  My parents always encouraged and motivated me to greater heights of success in school life and career life.

IV.  Education and career in medicine
A.  From a young age, I have always felt the need and passion to help others for a living.
B.  It was through my experiences in that jungle room and throughout my education that I realized my love for science and medicine, in particular.
C.  Now, I long to gain an education and make a career in medicine so that I may help those in my home town.
D.  I believe that ________ University is the best place for me to gain my medical education that will help me achieve and perhaps even surpass my goals.

This essay excerpt was made in accordance with our free essay help program.  If you’d like a free essay excerpt and outline package, please fill out the form on this website.  First come, first served.  Make sure to send all the information requested by our Terms and Conditions page.

As someone who served as my brother’s caregiver until he was 16 years old, my experiences have definitely shaped my goals and dreams. Because my brother suffers from ALS and my mom is manic depressive, I’ve realized that being a doctor is my one true goal. I want to become a successful medical practitioner and work in a hospital that is affiliated with a medical school. My past experiences may have been difficult, painful, and traumatic, but I believe they have contributed to my overall views in life, especially in wanting to help other kids have a good life despite suffering from mental conditions.

I. My past experiences
A. My brother suffered from ALS and I served as his caregiver until he was 16 years old
B. My mother was manic depressive
C. I had an abusive stepfather
D. An explanation on how these have shaped me, especially in terms of my goal to become a doctor

II. Work experiences
A. Went to Mexico for a volunteer medical mission — This experience taught me the importance of giving medical aid to people who can’t afford medical assistance
B. Worked for Ron Jon Surf Shop — This experience has taught me so many things, especially when dealing with different kinds of people
C. Worked at Florida Cardiovascular Association — At the front desk, I was able to take a peek at my future. My responsibilities included assisting the patients, managing hospital charts and billing tasks, and handling visits from drug manufacturers and shops.
D. Worked at the Pediatric After Hours Telephone Triage — At this emergency clinic, I learned a lot by working with patients and by working alongside resident doctors.

III. Why this medical school is perfect for me

A. I believe that this school offers the perfect environment for me as I try to juggle studies and being married.
B. The medical program offered at _______________ offers me enough flexibility, along with the right courses and classes that can supplement my premed course, which is biology.

Growing up, my mother always dreamt that I would take up medical studies to become a doctor.  I understood that she wanted me to be successful, to work in a lucrative profession, and to be doing something to help others.  It was a wonderful aspiration that I had hoped to make a reality.  Throughout the natural course of my development and maturation, however, I felt a growing desire for an entirely different direction, one that has led me to seek out an education in Professional Communication.  While a career in medicine would certainly make my mother proud, I feel that my passion for broadcasting will take me to greater heights of success and self-fulfilment, ultimately putting me in a position where my love for what I do will drive me to achieve more and be a good example to those who follow their dreams, just as I am.

I.  Introduction
A.  My mom’s dream of me becoming a doctor
B.  How being a doctor is lucrative, esteemed, and altruistic
C.  Growing up and having different interest and direction (toward broadcasting)
D.  Applying to Professional Communication
E.  How my love for broadcasting/communication can take me to greater heights

B.  A difficult situation
A.  The biggest inspiration in my life is my father
B.  My father was the mast of the ship that is my family
C.  He provided for us, gave moral support, and he was the gravity that held us together
D.  Unfortunately, my father was diagnosed with cancer and he passed away 2 years ago
E.  It was a turning point in our lives as a family, one that left us emotionally, morally, and financially upturned
F.  It forced us all to mature faster, work harder toward our dreams, and pull closer together as a family.
G.  I’ll never forget my dad’s last words of wisdom for me: “Just be yourself, your maturation is your success“

C.  Following my dreams and being myself
A.  Before my father died, I was already finding my own identity through my “maturation”
B.  In high school, I became leader of a broadcasting station, appeared as MC at music concerts and events, and took on the role as vice-president of the social affair action team
C.  I also found myself joining in a number of events myself
i.  Winning second place in the duet performance contest as guitarist for my class
ii.  Joining and winning first-prise in the English is Fun contest
D.  My experience in HCMC Conservatory of Music, with the 7-year academic course in piano
E.  Being selected by HCMC for the city-level Excellent-Student Contest, wherein we won second prize and a monthly scholarship from HCMC
F.  Reflecting on my “maturation” and realizing my own direction in life is to pursue a career in a communications-related career where my life experiences can drive me to success.

D.  Applying for scholarship at ___________ (school)
A.  I feel that the events in my life have led me to this decision to apply for a scholarship for the Professional Communication major at ________.
B.  Not only is an education and career in Professional Communication a passion of mine that I am dedicated to pursuing, but it is also a way for me to honor my father’s last words of advice for me, to recognize my success through my maturation.
C.  Receiving a scholarship will not only give me the means (financial aid and education) necessary to achieve my dreams, but it will also help me go on to reach some of my other objectives in life, such as my determination to earn a scholarship to study abroad for a master degree and make a living for myself and my family.