Carving a Better Future for Myself

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Born with breathing problems, I always feel weak, especially when coming down from high fevers. I had great difficulty at an early age of 6, and because of my condition, I had to stay mostly in the hospital or at home, deprived of the careless fun kids would enjoy outside. I even remember watching other kids with envy, as they play in the park or simply hang out with their friends. But the thing I missed the most back then is being able to go to school everyday. So when I recovered, going to school became a privilege for me. It was an opportunity for me to make something out of my life, from being a frail 6-year old to someone who believes that there are far better opportunities out there waiting to be explored. It was, indeed, a roller coaster ride for me, with my fair share of highs and lows, but I never stopped struggling to get on top and stand up after every fall. This same wisdom, I believe, is the key to my future success, so I am applying for your ____ college program, hopeful that I will be able to get the proper training and education I need to succeed in life.


I. Introduction

A. Struggles at a young age of six

i. I was born with breathing problems, so I always feel weak and suffer from high fevers,
ii. Because of my health condition, I missed going to school everyday and playing with other kids in the park.

B. Going to school

i. When I grew older and recovered, going to school became a privilege for me, since I’ve missed out on a lot of things when I was frail and young.
ii. Things weren’t easy for me, but I struggled to make it through.

C. Unwavering determination

i. Unfazed by many struggles in the past, I am taking the opportunity to create a better life through college education.
ii. I am applying for the program so I can get the training and education I need to succeed later in my chosen career and with my personal goals.

II. Going to school

A. My personal experience and interests

i. Going to school is an opportunity for me to learn new things and interact with other people my age.
ii. I was involved in many club activities, and even participated in charities.

B. Helping others

i. I worked as a tutor at Kumon, spent a summer working as a hospital volunteer, and enjoyed reading to other kids in the library.

III. What I’ve learned from my experience

A. Becoming a better person

i. All the good and bad experiences helped me be a better individual.
ii. I spend time doing work for charities and community activities, allowing me to hone my leadership skills and strong sense of involvement.

B. Believing that I’m a perfect fit for the ____ University

i. I have good potentials as a leader and has learned a lot from various club and community involvements.
ii. I am dedicated and responsible, after going through a lot of tough times in the past.
iii. I believe I can contribute much to the school community with my interests, values, willingness to share my knowledge and learn more from others.

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